We just wanted to take a moment and see how you’re enjoying your stay at the Casa de Me. Are you comfortable? Have all your needs been taken care of by the management? Is there anything we can do to ensure your stay is more comfortable?
While we know it’s a bit awkward to discuss, we thought to bring up a few issues that have come to light.
First, is it possible you’re running out of room? It’s been brought to our attention by various associates of the management that you might be running out of space, and may be checking out early because of the lack of space. While we (as the management) aretaken aback at the associates comments, we felt the need to ask. In no way are we judging your weight- in fact, we are overjoyed when our guests gain weight while staying with us- but the renovations you’ve undertaken to create more room has been a bit of an inconvenience. That being said, you are officially our first long-term resident and we suspect this is (mostly) standard procedure.
We also would be remiss if we didn’t bring up another sensitive subject- your evening activities. While we appreciate the slight reduction in your random karate punches to our walls, it seems that at times you are hosting your punk band practice within our room instead. While the late night karate could be abrupt, and would keep the management up at odd hours, the band practice now just confuses the management. Smaller knocks on multiple walls of the room at the same time, while more conducive to the management’s sleep, also violates the agreement that only one occupant would be allowed in the room during your stay. While we have no proof that there is not another resident staying with you, we would be happier if you could also act that way.
Finally, we would appreciate it if you:
– would be more patient if your room needs to be moved. At times, the residence does need to be moved, specifically at night, after drinking large glasses of liquids, and during prime time television hours. We would appreciate it if you moved willingly as your current action of holding on to the wall paper/dragging your heels across the floor is painful for both of us.
– would get along with the other (lesser) guests in the nearby space. Mr. and Mrs. Lung do have a tendency to encroach but pushing them out of your room does no one any good. The same goes for Mr. Stomach and his family, the Intestines.
Finally, we understand check-out may be in the next 6-10 weeks. While we are very flexible in our check-out policy, please also try to limit the length of the check-out to under 24 hours. We definitely don’t want to rush you, but a timely and painless exit would be beneficial to us all.
We look forward to serving you in the next 2 months, and even more to meeting you at your check-out.
The Management of Casa de Me