A husband by any other name…

Hus and I have been together seven and a half years now.   The entire time I’ve known him, his name has been Fozziebear  (not his real name obviously, but I promise it’ll all make sense in a moment).    To respect his privacy, I’ve tried to keep his real  identity a secret – a bit like the stereotypical superhero. 

I’m not sure why this is so important to me as Hus  has a very common first name- he was a child of the late seventies/early eighties, and was one of numerous Kermitthefrogs in his class.   For years, he was known in his family and among his classmates as Kermitthefrog or Kermit, if they wanted to shorten it.

“But wait,” I can hear you saying, “I thought you said his name was Fozziebear.”    You are an observant bunch.

Well…yes.  See, when Hus went to college, he realized he was the 15th Kermitthefrog on his floor- and RENAMED HIMSELF Fozziebear.

More astoundingly?*  His family and friends just started calling him Fozziebear!  Sure, they occasionally lapse back into Kermitthefrog, but mostly?  FOZZIEBEAR.**

So I guess I shouldn’t have been too surprised when he mentioned to me yesterday that he did not really like me calling him “Hus” on my blog- and wanted me to rename him.

Hmmm…

He was kind enough to provide me with a list of suitable options (of course!). 

Hus’s Grand List of Blog Names (Any editorial comments are my own in italics)

HWMBO – Stands for He Who Must Be Obeyed, which ha!  HA HA HA!

Bossman-  Rules itself out.  And HA!

Muscles-  Um…my grandmother reads this, so…awkward.

Miller Time – No, his last name is not Miller, and he does not actually drink Miller all that often…because that would actually make sense.

Luke Skywalker-  Again, child of the 70s/80s.  What exactly is it with men and Star Wars?

Sgt. York–  Even after he explained it, I’m still not clear on where this one came from- can someone explain?  I guess he killed Nazis in a comic book???  With a comic book?  I’m not sure.

Nick Fury-  Another comic book Nazi killer, I think?

Peter Parker- Because Hus worked at a newspaper once and was bitten by a radioactive spider (true story! ***)

Chipotle- Gratuitous corporate shilling right here, but really, he could live on that stuff.

Short Ends-  A type of barbecue from KC- but it reminds me too much of the kid from Indiana Jones.

Brisket- Another reference to barbecue.   The man likes his tomato based products.

Captain America-  A name I tease him with because he’s such a boy scout.

Cow Town-  I had to ask for an explanation for this one…Hus is from Kansas City- which is called Cow Town?  You learn something new everyday.

and Duffman- which is just…no.

So, what is the new nickname?  The beauty irony is that I think “Hus” is working wonderfully- and will most likely continue using it.  It’s short and already comes to mind while I’m writing. 

That being said, all relationships are a series of compromises though, so also?

 Brisket.

*Because REALLY? Who renames themself if they have a normal, non-offensive name?  I can see if it if your parents had a bad sense of humor and named you Ima Dork or something like that, but…

**And yes, the names really are different- it’s not like calling a girl Liz if her name is Elizabeth… In fact, my mom was given a severe dressing down by a guest at our wedding because we were using Fozziebear instead of Kermitthefrog on all our wedding stuff- and did we know that Fozziebear IS NOT HIS NAME?!?OMG?!?!?.

***Maybe not the radioactive part.

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Categories: random movie reference, snark, why? | 1 Comment

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One thought on “A husband by any other name…

  1. Old House Lover

    You could refer to him as DH, common internet abbreviation for Dear Husband.

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