Don’t let the sweet smile fool you..The terrible twos have come early to our house.
You let it fool you, didn’t you? You were distracted by the picture and thought “Why, what an adorable little girl! Look- she’s wearing a tank top- it must be warm there!”
Like the weather, Li has decided to let her emotions be influenced by the flapping of a butterfly in China, and can develop into a full-on toddler tornado in just seconds. Beware of flying fists, feet, teeth and the roar of a train headed straight for you. There is little to no warning…We’re left to just hang on by our fingernails and an old belt wrapped around the water pipes as the house is blown away.
And the screaming…My god, the screaming. It’s like bugs have crawled into my brain and are building a big ball of twine with my nervous system.
Yes, I’m mixing my metaphors. Crazy, right? LIKE MY BABY’S MOOD SWINGS.
And, yes, yes, I know I complained of her being a teenager a few months ago. This, though, is more…much more. Like when the hulk was a teenager. Like an army of Godzillas taking on an army of Mothras in my backyard. Like biblical-style wailing and gnashing and rending of garments because the strap of her shoe is a bit crooked.
Take the picture above. That picture officially marks the last day she was willing to sit in her high chair. No more, Mama! None! Basta! Finito! She suddenly somehow is able to crawl up my face and perch in my hair/wrap herself around my ears whenever I try to put her in her high chair. It’s like she’s become a weird mutant anaconda/squirrel hybrid. A squironda, if you will.
She has similar feelings for her car seat…unfortunately, much to her chagrin, state law prevents me from letting her hang from the roof rack like a spider monkey. She recently screamed for twenty straight minutes when I tried to put her in her seat and drive home from the babysitter’s.
Twenty minutes of ear bugs, only to suddenly stop three minutes from home. She cleared her throat and in a small voice said, “Mama? I sorry.”
And that may be the only reason why I keep her around.